Difference between men and women

Is there still a sense of humour in New Life? I really hope there is or as a Pastor I'm in serious trouble.

 

Forgetting about the obvious, here are some noted differences between men and women that are quite revealing:

 

NICKNAMES:

• If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
• If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes and no one will take offence.

EATING OUT:

• When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £52.50. None of them will look for anything smaller and none will want change back.
• When the girls get their bill, it's as much small change they can find in their purse. They might leave £2 between them! 

MONEY:

• A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
• A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item she doesn't need, but it's on sale!

BATHROOMS:

• A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
• The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

DRESSING UP:

• A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
• A man will only dress up for weddings and funerals.

ARGUMENTS:

• A woman has the last word in any argument.
• Anything a man (or another woman) says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

SUCCESS:

• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
• A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE:

• A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
• A man marries a woman expecting she won't change, but she does.